Posted by: twobigyellowcranes | 19 February 08

Customer service

This is an incredibly lazy post, but the below is from a “true” e-mail sent to me by a work colleague. It is amusing, but I found it more frightening because I fully believe that at least the reponses from the company’s employees are true given some of my past dealings with customer services…

A lady died this past January, and her bank billed her for February and March for their annual service charges on her credit card, and then added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance that had been £0.00, became somewhere around £60.00.

A family member placed a call to the Bank:

Family Member: ‘I am calling to tell you that she died in January.’

Bank employee: ‘The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.’

Family Member: ‘Maybe, you should turn it over to collections.’

Bank employee: ‘Since it is two months past due, it already has been.’

Family Member: ‘So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?’

Bank employee: ‘Either report her account to the frauds division or to the credit bureau, maybe both.’

Family Member: ‘Do you think God will be mad at her?’

Bank employee: ‘Excuse me?’

Family Member: ‘Did you just get what I was telling you? She’s dead.’

Bank employee: ‘Sir, you’ll have to speak to my supervisor.’

(Supervisor gets on the phone)

Family Member: ‘I’m calling to tell you, she died in January.’

Bank supervisor: ‘The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.’

Family Member: ‘You mean you want to collect from her estate?’

Bank supervisor: ‘Are you her lawyer?’

Family Member: ‘No, I’m her great nephew.’ (Lawyer info given)

Bank supervisor: ‘Could you fax us a certificate of death?’

Family Member: ‘Sure.’ (Fax number is given and death certificate faxed. New call.)

Bank supervisor: ‘Our system just isn’t set up for death. I don’t know what more I can do to help.’

Family Member: ‘Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her. I don’t think she will care.’

Bank supervisor: ‘Well, the late fees and charges do still apply.’

Family Member: ‘Would you like her new billing address?’

Bank supervisor: ‘That might help.’

Family Member: ‘ Glasnevin Cemetry, Finglas Road , Dublin 11, Ireland, Plot Number 1049.’

Bank supervisor: ‘Sir, that’s a cemetery!’

Family Member: ‘Well, what the **** do you do with dead people on your planet?’



  1. I imagine that its totally true – when a relative of mine died, his immediate family sent his death certificate to his pension company to obviously advise him of his death and that they should stop payments. They replied – to the deceased thanking him for sending in his cert.

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